LIFE
Don’t Try to Be Superwoman: Ask for Help!
Often we want to be superwoman, to do all things and be all things to all people. Trying to be a superwoman only leaves you exhausted and empty.
I don’t know if it’s an African thing, but it seems like, the more you take on as a woman, the more you are respected. Not too long ago, a popular Nigerian Christian leader extolled the virtues of his wife who cooks and personally caters to all of his needs. To each his/her own. If that works for them, great! But to make that the standard for all women is dangerous. Every woman’s situation is different and I think that women should be given the freedom to choose what suits their life.
Even if you don’t have a full-time job, you need a break from cooking, cleaning, running after the kids, taking care of every other person’s needs in the household. You need the space to take care of YOURSELF! Not just your physical self, but your mental self as well.
Take note of the things that you find difficult to deal with. Take note of the things that you have to do but don’t really care to do. Take note also of the things that take up a lot of your time but do not really contribute to the bottom line of your home or business. The bottom line for your home can be to connect better with your children, help them with their homework, and shuttle them to their activities. Take note of these things and figure out how you can get help with these things. For your business, it could be that you are great with ideas but lack the technical skills to execute your ideas. Don’t spin your wheels trying to do it all by yourself. Ask for help. Be willing to exchange your resources for help.
As a single mother, childcare is one area where help has been very valuable for my continued personal advancement. It allowed me to take on various opportunities that would have been difficult for me to take advantage of if I did not have that help.
When seeking help, make sure that you do the following:
- Rid yourself of the guilt of needing help.
- Evaluate the credentials of those you are seeking help from.
- Be clear about your expectations.
- Set your boundaries.
- Set up structures to protect yourself.
Don’t take on so much that the weight of your load keeps you from moving forward.
